Self-Quote: Cruelty

Woman is woman's wolf.

Self-Quote: Libido

Being a man is like walking through a square of restaurants. Some of us are gluttons, some ascetics, but all are hungry.

Self-Quote: Modernity

Smartphones, dumb people.

Must play PS3 games

I’m not a fan of consoles. In fact, my first console in 30 years (used to have an Intellivision) is the PlayStation 3.

To be honest, I bought the PS3 for the Blu-Ray 3D player, not the videogame itself. Considering I'm incapable of playing my favorite gender, FPS (First Person Shooter) in a control pad (I really need a mouse+keyboard setup), and there is really no decent RTS (Real Time Strategy) outside the PCs, you could think I lost money on my fancy Blu-Ray player. But, it looks like I didn't.

Here are the best PS3 games I played so far:

Heavy Rain – out of question one of the best games I ever played. More an interactive movie than a game, it can deliver intense emotions (from sadness to love, from hope to despair, from genuine terror to relief) in a way movies find hard to do and games couldn’t even dream of.

 The sadness is strong in this one

"I think I got a stalker"

  Bully cop

[spolier allert]

 

Valkyria Chronicles – now that’s a game clearly done with passion. Beautiful, light hearted and compelling… I only wished this tactical game had multiplayer and more game modes to improve its replaybility (a RISK-like game mode would work wonders). Yes, the saddest thing about this game is the fact it ends.

Krauts by Japan

 You won't even mind the pink skies

 She is lovely

 Where is the sequel?

Mortal Kombat (2011) – OK, Mortal Kombat wasn’t my preferred fighting games franchising (always loved Samurai Shodown) but they really nailed with this one. Brutal, clever, with a terrific movie-like story mode, endless content and hours of fun with friends guaranteed, Mortal Kombat (2011) is a flawless victory.

You can feel the bones breaking

Ha! Missed me

In your face

You are too hot, let me fix that

Will work for like

For an enthusiastic modder and free games designer, I think I wouldn't need to say that, but here it goes:

Self-Quote: Vogue

Fashion is the art of temporary transform what was so far ridiculous in desirable.

Project: MWO CHESS

I’m a fan of the Battletech universe for almost 2 decades and I was waiting for another Mechwarrior title for 10 years. Now there is a MW video game being developed (called Mechwarrior Online) and I became very engaged with the MWO Community.

It turns out that I decided to make a board game to emulate the experience of playing MWO (which is in Closed Beta right now). I give you:

All art of the game is based on elements from the MWO site and the rules are made for fast and furious games, with similar mechanics of MWO. The units (mechs) and factions are the same you can find in the video game, completing the experience.

I’m posting and commenting here the updates of MWO CHESS. You can freely get there a complete PDF manual with rules, cards and miniatures to print and start playing in your chess board.

Some images:

Sample of Mech cards 

 

Faction cards

Sample of Mech miniatures

Self-Quote: Introspection

Talking much is thinking less.

T-SHIRT

Team Edward? No! Team Jacob? Hell no!
I choose Team Bela!

(I miss the time where vampires weren't fagots and werewolves weren't underwear models)

WORST MOVIE IN A DECADE

I was trying to make a post about the great movies I saw in 2011 (a very short list), but I turned up to write about the worst movie I saw in the last years.

AUGUST RUSH (2007)

There is only a word to describe this movie: obscene.

The story is so implausible that is kind of embarrassing to tell it here. An eleven years old “orphan”, separated by his mother at birth, turn up to be a gratuitous musical genius - because his parents (whom he never knew) are musicians, of course. And no matter how big the world is, how their lives are different, in the end, in some beautiful moment, the three will be “magically” drawn together.

Instant true love, the power of music… Even Disney's Cinderella isn't so naive. But this movie is not only naive, it's dangerous. It makes us think no matter the way we live our lives, no matter what we do, there is a wonderful path written for us.

And there is another lesson underneath: significant people are born that way.
That's really a comforting though, isn't? “I'm an ordinary person because I was not born a genius”.

Bullshit! We are all born dumb. Genius is earned. Get up your lazy ass and start learning something.

I think the boy's father is the cello. That explains a lot.

“Study and practice are for suckers. I was born ready!”

“I never saw that kid before, but somehow I know he IS our son”

10 Great Movie Opening Titles

Opening titles are a combination of visual and music at the service of the movie. Sometimes they are a piece of art themselves. Here is a list of some of the greatest:

1- WATCHMEN


2- 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY


3- ZOMBIELAND


4- LORD OF WAR


5- CASSINO ROYALE (2006)


6- AMERICAN PSYCHO


7- SPIDERMAN 2


8- FIGHT CLUB


9- GHOST IN THE SHELL


10- JUNO


I'm very indecisive to put here links for the Youtube, as these are constantly being taken down. Just do a quick search there with the name of the movie and the words “intro”, “opening credits” or “opening titles” and here you go.

Other honorable mentions: Shrek, Eurotrip.

Donnie Darko – Ten Years Later

With the Blu-Ray of Donnie Darko in my hands I though “Wow, let's see this beauty now in Director's Cut and high definition”.

After a couple of minutes I just found out that Richard Kelly not only made some terrible movies recently (Southland Tales – one of the worst movies I ever saw and The Box – which is plainly bad) but managed to ruin his masterpiece. With lots of horrible new special effects, unnecessary mystic mumble jumble (has he convinced himself that there is truth in the crazy things of the movie?) and even a changed sound track (which was just perfect), this Director's Cut managed to transform an otherwise fantastic movie into a pile of crap.

Was the hand of the producers heavy enough to restrain a wild director before or is the genius losing his mind over time? I don't know!

After 1 hour of torture, I had to switch the movie to the old good Theater Version. Thanks God! The original movie is still great! I'm still terrified by the bunny Frank. The final song Mad World still brings me to tears. And I still fall in love with Jena Malone.

So here is the tip: watch Donnie Darko. It's beautiful. But stay away of this Director's Cut. And you, Richard, keep your hands out of this wonderful movie.

Ahh teenager love...

The world is going to end.

The sinister look of Donnie... oh my, is that Seth Rogen?

Game: Castle Vox

For those who don't know, this is a very simple and interesting game - and you can play the basic maps for free. Castle Vox

The most fun feature is the Map Editor. Here are some maps I made for the game:

World War I

Empires

Conquistadores

Self-Quote: Self-Help

All this self-help business is based on the false idea that we don't live as we should because we don't know what's best for us, and not because we don't want what's best for us.

Self-Quote: Religion

The men created religion to control God.

CONSOLE GAMES

I don't have a video game console since my Intellivision in the early 80s.

My two preferred game genders are First Person Shooters and Strategy (Real Time, Turn Based, any) and luckily, both suck in console.

They are trying to make Strategy games for consoles, like Civilization V. I hope they never succeed, because all games that goes from PC to consoles became over simplified and limited. Want examples? Civilizations series -> Civilizations Revolution; Battlefield early series (1942, Vietnam, BF2) -> BF Bad Company series (and - I hope not - BF3).

I recently bought BF Bad Company 2 complete and, being an old school BF Vietnam player, I was terribly disappointed with it. OK, the graphics are perfect. OK, there is a single-player campaign. But the multiplayer has only a very few vehicles (when BF1942, BFV and BF2 had dozens different vehicles each). Either they are too lazy or too greedy - why making a deep game if you can make a new one next year and sell like hell?

Console = fast food of games.

BTW, damn you game industry for creating the DLCs. Not long ago, the developers continued to improve the games for free, releasing new maps, weapons, units, even game modes, in each update. Now you need to pay U$ 2.00 for a freaking new character texture?! Are you kidding?

PS: of course they make these new console-oriented games impossible to mod. If you let people making great new free stuff for your game you can't sell crappy DLCs. This business is twisted.

PARTY DUNGEON: THE SCOUT

PARTY DUNGEON
Dungeons & Dragons Online meets Team Fortress 2


Class: Monk
Race: Halfling

A fast-running and fast-talking Halfling from Stormreach with a penchant for brawling and grievous bodily harm, the Scout flies like a butterfly and stings like a bat to the face. The fastest of all the classes, his speed and ability to double jump will leave slower opponents spinning. This, coupled with his volley of Darts, makes the Scout ideal at hit and run tactics, allowing him to inflict massive close-range damage before dashing away to safety. Not content with only one way to harass his foes, the Scout can also equip his trusty Sling to stun opponents with long-range bullets.

*Party Dungeon is a TF2 (my former passion) parody I'm making of DDO (my current addiction).

Other characters:

- Heavy = heavy armored Dwarf Fighter with a huge repeating crossbow;
- Pyro = Human Evocator specialized in - guess what - fire;
- Soldier = Human Paladin with a sacred sword;
- Engineer = Gnome Artificer with Sentry Constructs, Magic Chests and Dimension Doors;
- Sniper = Elf Archer (duh!);
- Medic = Human Cleric;
- Spy = Half-Elf Rogue.

GREAT DIRECTORS MAKE WORST MOVIES

I watched the movie Bad Lieutenant (from the legendary director Werner Herzog) yesterday and I'm still angry. I usually don't like movies about junkies, but movies that are like made by people on drugs are even worst.

Mr. Herzog, whatahell are you thinking? Weren't you retired?

Baaaadd trip

Don't get me wrong, the movie is kind of interesting, but suddenly there is a completely random scene (mostly involving iguanas) that ruins everything. Of course, the fact the movie doesn't go anywhere only makes it a waste of time.

It's not smart, it's not serious, it's not wild. It's just crazy bullshit. It tried to be some kind of Herzog's Mulholland Drive, but it only keeps the lowest level Nicolas Cage reached in Ghost Rider.

Now here is a gallery of terrible movies that stained the name of (supposedly) great directors:

- Lady in the Water, by M. Night Shyamalan. Let's do the math: one excellent (The Sixty Sense) plus one good movie (The Village) and one OK (Unbreakable) against one bad (Signs) plus two terrible (Lady in the Water and The Happening)… hmm… well, Shyamalan, looks like the balance is not great. The Last Airbender is your chance to: 1) redeem yourself (if you keep up with the great original series' spirit) or 2) fall in disgrace and provoke eternal rage of millions of fans.

EDIT: The Last Airbender is OK.

Worthy of Uwe Boll

- Black Hawk Down, by Ridley Scott. I confess, I loved Gladiator. And I, of course, have the most respect for the director of Alien and Blade Runner. Said that, it was expected Scott wouldn't fall on this unbelievable patriotic mambo jumbo that Black Hawk Down is. The speech of Josh Harnett's character to his dying comrade about being a hero is simply outrageous.

You killed 1000 Somalis to save a few American soldiers – good job!

- Planet of the Apes, by Tim Burton. We can overlook everything wrong in this remake, but the end is so absurd that the movie deserves only to be forgotten. A commercial success that proves (as Burton's Batman) that marketing worth much more than content. Luckily, there isn't much space for a sequel.

EDIT: Oh my, looks like there will another Planet of the Apes soon!

EDIT2: I saw Burton's Alice in Wonderland = and it sucks! It's like a recycled Alice in Wonderland, without all good stuff and with an "epic" battle scene in the end to try to spice things up. Even they puting all the weight of that weak story in Johnny Depp's shoulders, it sucks.

A great movie, if you are a monkey

- Southland Tales, by Richard Kelly. The promising director of the surprising good Donnie Darko made one of worst movies I ever saw.

Two words: epic fail

- Windtalkers, by John Woo. Talking about Nicolas Cage and his taste for disgrace… I wouldn't ever put John Woo in my list of great directors, but this Windtalkers is so bellow his other movies that it needs to be featured here. Woo managed to transform a well produced WW2 movie (with and unusual theme: the Pacific theater) into a poor eighties-like action movie where the hero kills alone hundreds of bad aimed enemies.

Rambo in WW2

- War of the Worlds, by Steven Spielberg. That's what happens when a veteran like Spielberg tries to copy Roland Emmerich: he might actually succeed (and make a terrible movie in the process).

Just ugly

- Sucker Punch, by Zack Snyder. Nothing can go wrong when you put some hotties brawling in a beautiful imaginary world, right? Wrong! You need to spend at least a few dimes hiring someone to write a minimal story. The movie is just cinematographic masturbation. Without a happy ending, I must say. How could you do that after Watchmen and Dawn of the Dead, Snyder?

There is nothing here

CONCLUSION: even the masters can fail and when it comes to remakes made by great directors, stick with the oldies.